Yes the TSOP48 sockets i have sit right on the footprint the chip would go, its designed that way on purpose so you can pull the TSOP off a board, and put a socket in place so you can debug without in-circuit flashing ability.
I picked a few of these up and never used them.
Also, as far as the FPGA goes, does the RESET signal come to the ROM slot? i cant remember. if so, you can hold the bus into RESET until its finished loading. then free the bus. Dennis' method would work just as fine as well. But requires additional logic blocks in the FPGA to keep the bus in a loop. then once its complete, use a mux or something in VHDL to switch over. Nice thing about having this type of a setup, you can hot-flash the SPI inside the mac while its running with an application, as long as you have FPGA blocks to support it, without touching the RAM contents so the "ROM" dont change on the mac while your flashing it. Then reboot once done, if the RESET signal comes to the SIMM the FPGA can pick up this signal and start its entire SPI to RAM loading process over again. Regardless, i think you need to watch the RESET condition as a signal to start the process.
Either watch this pin, or decode the reset vector on the bus, if the FPGA detects it, reload SPI to RAM and hang RESET until complete. Since we are doing some real simple tasks, i think a micro FPGA would work just fine, and would fit on the SIMM. The only drawback is finding an FPGA that runs on 5V only. most are 3.3v, 1.8v, or a combination of voltages. one for IO, one for Core, etc... in which case youll need small SOT-89 V-Regs on the board to handle this, some 3.3V FPGAs are 5V tolerant so make sure you look at that aspect as well, it could be a trap if no attention is paid. ;-)
there are some open-source softcores too so if you wanted to put some "brain" on the SIMM for advanced operations outside of logic, in theory, you could such as the flashing algo for SPI would have to be run on a softcore unless you know of a way to code it specifically as logic in VHDL. If you ran out of on-chip storage, you could always compress the code that would run on the softcore and expand it at the "end" block of the RAM chip and boot the code from there for the softcore to SPI flash, etc... many many many options.
Hell if the architecture supports cache RAM, you could add an FPGA block to address out some RAM space for caching. speed up the machine.
Sorry for the rambling, its just some info. I am FPGA dumb, but i do know how they work to an extent, and learning as I go.