I wrote this before hearing your response that you contacted her, just was slow about sending the post, but figure to leave it than delete, because I hear a lot of this from "collectors" and the like:
I personally think you're overreacting:
1) If there were pictures and you didn't ask about scratching, it's your loss. Think about it: if someone advertises something as "clean" or "nice" it's their opinion, not an exact science. I've been burnt this way in the past- sold a machine as "nice" and when it arrived, because it had a scratch on the side of the case, it was actually returned to me, i was flamed with bad feedback, and forced to send a replacement machine at my cost. At the time I had no pictures, so i said whatever, unless I say "mint" no one will mind a 1/2 inch scratch that's barely visable. on the other hand, if there's pictures, and it shows up notably different, you have total bitching rights, now if the scratches are there and you missed them, or the photo looked better, but on inspection, the scratches are there, that's good salesmanship. No, it's not fair, but if everyone had to document every scratch or discoloration, a lot of things would never get sold. I frequently go after items that have bad cases, or whatever, and while it sucks when it arrives lookign worse than i was expecting, but unless you explicitly ask, and expect to wait forever for the "perfect" auction to come by, deal with it...
2) As stated, the battery charged, and lasted more than 0:00, in fact it looked like it would hold 2 hours by your assertation. 50% of the people out there on ebay are trying to rip you off, 50% dont want to learn the intracacies of a 7-year-old or whatever laptop that they've had stored for years just to know the exact length of the battery and what it should be.
3) the Ram and hard drive.. BOTH are a plus- so what if you bought the ram, that was bad planning on your part, and she shouldn't be penalized for making you waste money- go sell the new one you got- whatever. I frequently throw in "extras" for my customers, sometimes because i might take an extra day to ship or because i have no more use for the parts and alone they're not worth selling.
4) you pissed me off rightly about the woman crack.
Sorry for being so opinionated, but in all honesty, if there isn't at least some bit of the unknown in ebay sales, all items would be going for brand new prices. Such is the nature of online auctions and listings like craigslist and LEM. If you're so insistant on scratchfree or exact details, inquire. your lack of asking if your own fault.