Which is the best 32-bit clean ROM
You need to decide whether you are doing this for fun, or in order to make the machine reliable and useful. Most of the stuff you will see on youtube about these is marketing, rather than engineering, and should be treated with the scepticism one should always have for a marketing person telling you that they've got a good idea that involves giving their mates money.
A non-stock ROM is usually not actually an
upgrade unless you really want to boot from ROM. Get one for the fun of it, but it's pretty unnecessary: it harms compatibility, especially with other upgrades that aren't perhaps entirely well-behaved (cough some accelerators cough). Modern ROM PCBs are not the right thickness, so you are more likely to get issues with your ROM socket. And removing the RAM test isn't really a feature; modern RAM is
more variable in quality than old RAM, because it's not as mass market and even from manufacturers who aren't trying to pull a fast one by doing things like overvolting 3.3V DRAM chips, their QC process will not be anywhere near as good as from a big manufacturer back in the day.
If you want 32-bit compatibility you can use MODE32 and either a CMOS battery or Force32, depending on what you want to achieve.
128Mb RAM kit, available for the SE/30 today?
As others have said upthread, 128MB is kind of pessimal: it's relatively expensive and realistically you probably won't use it. You will run out of CPU long before you run out of RAM. If you want the Biggest And Best RAM For The SE/30 purely in order to have the biggest and best, then as
@joshc correctly notes above, the right answer is probably
@ymk's
Synchr030/S card, which, with care, will basically give you 256MB of RAM that works at L2 cache speeds.
If you are absolutely sure you want lots of RAM that is modern-manufactured, you should bear in mind my comments above about quality control in manufacturing, and the same comments about PCB thickness also apply - accessible manufacturing for modern PCBs is 1.2mm thick, but the 30 pin SIMM specification calls for 1.27mm.
I have some 16MB SIMMs from MemoryMasters which have been fine for me, but I know other people have had more dubious luck with these, so I hesitate to recommend them wholeheartedly. But even with these, I never put more than 64MB in an SE/30, there's simply no point, even if you're running A/UX.