Local estate find in San Diego

[AndyO]

You LITERALLY wrote, "Check your facts." Therefore, I am. If you paid "thousands of dollars", then what was the amount? Or did you do some sly talking and just offer to take some worthless junk off their hands so they didn't have to move it?

You don't seem to be taking notice of 'It is none of your business'. Which it isn't. This is merely harassment.

 

[a2a2a2]

I wonder, and it is pertinent, by what authority the family members who allowed access and took money from the OP did so.

For the record, you don't seem to have any right to expect any information on the transaction unless you are the executor of the estate. Which also begs the question as to what capacity you are acting in to 'get to the bottom of this', and in what way does that differ from the authority the family members seem to have thought they had?

The executor is the only person with a right to know, and even then, it is because the executor has a legal duty to disburse the estate correctly, including taxes owing on it.

If it irritates that I poke back at this, and keep doing so, imagine how irritating is must be for someone who paid 'thousands of dollars' in good faith, and is being pursued here (and accused, and somewhat threatened) simply because they went out of their way to publicize their actions.

Fair question. Tony's brother is a retired priest with very limited internet skills. Apparently I'm one of a few people in the A2 community that he cares to speak with (a2Fan can verify this) after being inundated after Tony's death He requested for me to see about getting the equipment back because it was "not supposed to be given away." The transaction that purportedly took place is new information, and adds complexity to the situation as Tony's brother is not aware of an exchange of cash.

 

[ried]

He requested for me to see about getting the equipment back because it was "not supposed to be given away."

Ridiculous. He was there, along with his son. It wasn't given away. It was purchased (for a substantial sum) and his son helped to load my vehicle as he sat next to it.

Again, you're not entitled to any of this information anyway. It's none of your business.

 

[Brett B.]

Everyone needs to take a step back and breathe.

I don't know this Tony guy but I have dealt with estates and estate sales enough times to be familiar enough with how they work. I feel terrible for the family who has to deal with that, the house is a disaster and the only way to make this right is for someone to put in a LOT of time and money. Unfortunately there is going to be a lot of heresay, he said, she said, that's mine, you took, stole, whatever... everyone involved needs to just assume that they lost their stuff and it's gone, and if you do get it back, buy a lottery ticket.

I also don't know ried but having bought stuff like this at sales JUST like this, I would be PISSED that the community is throwing me under the bus if I was in his shoes. The accusations in this thread are horrifically shameful at best.

"do better" as they say

 

[AndyO]

Fair question. Tony's brother is a retired priest with very limited internet skills. Apparently I'm one of a few people in the A2 community that he cares to speak with (a2Fan can verify this) after being inundated after Tony's death He requested for me to see about getting the equipment back because it was "not supposed to be given away." The transaction that purportedly took place is new information, and adds complexity to the situation as Tony's brother is not aware of an exchange of cash.

I think the brother is going to have to speak to others, whether he likes it or not. Having been executor of an estate (when my wife died) it entails a great deal of unpleasant tasks that I doubt anyone would want to do, but he can't work through you, because in the end he has to personally account for the estate, it's assets, it's disbursements and it's taxes. It isn't acceptable for an executor to rely on information from others which is not fully documented.

If this were me, I would ask the OP to hold off with any transactions regarding this purchase for a while if that is at all possible, to provide a cooling-off period and time for the brother to get the estate together, get the family together, and find out what actually did happen with the sale.

After that, one has to recognize that sometimes you can't get stuff back into the bottle, and that this sale may have to be left as it is.

If I were the brother I'd call the police with jurisdiction where the house is, and advise them that a possible unlawful sale has taken place from the estate, and ask if they will investigate. If they will, that may help resolve matters with the OP, but I suspect likely they won't, particularly since the OP here can hardly have walked out of the house unknown to the family who were there, and whether he paid or didn't, if he was given reason to believe he had their authority and they had that author to give, the police likely won't act beyond conversations which might help bring it to resolution.

The problem is that if the brother won't do this, you can't do it in his place. You may be a friend of the family, and I have no doubt you are, and are doing what you think is right, but the authorities require legal standing, and you don't have it.

Likewise, with the OP here, you can ask for his help, but you can't demand it. And pushing the wrong way doesn't seem like it's helping.

 

[macuserman]

Kinda disappointed in what I'm seeing on the forum here in this thread. I didn't know Tony, I don't own an Apple computer, have never been to Kansasfest, and I don't even know ried.

What I do know is a bit of common decency, and this is not it. If this is all it takes to start attacking one of our own, I may have to think about where I'm spending my time. Sorry @ried that you're being treated this way.

Anything we send out and loan to any of our friends and members here is under no expectation that we will absolutely get it back. There is no promise of tomorrow for any of us, and I for one know that my immediate family would be absolutely clueless with what to do with even a single piece of my ridiculously large pile of vintage crap. They wouldn't know who to reach or who to ask, or any idea of value, in all fairness it might end up on craigslist or at goodwill just because it would be overwhelming to deal with in any other fashion. I sure hope that my family would not be hounded in this way if that happened, or that anyone who happened to come and help perhaps take or buy some of it would be hounded in this way.

It is asking way to much of a grieving family to be responsible for ensuring every single piece of loaned material goes back to whoever loaned it, with the volume there that task is monumental perhaps even impossible if you aren't familiar with our hobby. Not to mention scammers who would say things were loaned that weren't etc.

 

[ried]

The really weird thing (to me) is that the house is a ramshackle mess. It's been rifled through by many, many people over the 16 months or so since the deceased passed away. I just happened to hear about it from another local enthusiast who had been there several times.

I guess I'm just dumb enough to broad cast my "luck" to the community here, from which I expected nothing but "Whoa, congratulations! That's awesome."

Instead we find there's a bunch of innuendo about wrongdoing, trying to drag me through the mud. I expected too much, to be sure.

Fact is, the family invited me over. I took them up on the offer and, with Tony's brother and nephew both present (regardless of what @a2a2a2 / random stranger on the Internet says), purchased several things. They helped me load it up and I went home.

 

[a2a2a2]

The really weird thing (to me) is that the house is a ramshackle mess. It's been rifled through by many, many people over the 16 months or so since the deceased passed away. I just happened to hear about it from another local enthusiast who had been there several times.

I guess I'm just dumb enough to broad cast my "luck" to the community here, from which I expected nothing but "Whoa, congratulations! That's awesome."

Instead we find there's a bunch of innuendo about wrongdoing, trying to drag me through the mud. I expected too much, to be sure.

Fact is, the family invited me over. I took them up on the offer and, with Tony's brother and nephew both present (regardless of what @a2a2a2 / random stranger on the Internet says), purchased several things. They helped me load it up and I went home.

You are now claiming that Tony's brother was present, which he was not. Maybe his brother in law, but not his brother. So much screwed up with your story. Shady AF.

 

[ried]

You are now claiming that Tony's brother was present, which he was not. Maybe his brother in law, but not his brother. So much screwed up with your story. Shady AF.

Okay, smart guy: Who is this in the photo?



Tony's nephew, that's who. Who was he calling "Dad" at the house? Tony's brother or Tony's brother-in-law?

It's none of your business in any case.

 

[AndyO]

I'm told I am not allowed to post here any longer, so I hope this all works out.

 

[ried]

I'm out, too. Done.

 

[MrFahrenheit]

@ried I feel bad for your situation.

There is jumping to conclusions here by others, before actually knowing all facts.

Kinda disappointed in what I'm seeing on the forum here in this thread. I didn't know Tony, I don't own an Apple computer, have never been to Kansasfest, and I don't even know ried.

What I do know is a bit of common decency, and this is not it. If this is all it takes to start attacking one of our own, I may have to think about where I'm spending my time. Sorry @ried that you're being treated this way.

Anything we send out and loan to any of our friends and members here is under no expectation that we will absolutely get it back. There is no promise of tomorrow for any of us, and I for one know that my immediate family would be absolutely clueless with what to do with even a single piece of my ridiculously large pile of vintage crap. They wouldn't know who to reach or who to ask, or any idea of value, in all fairness it might end up on craigslist or at goodwill just because it would be overwhelming to deal with in any other fashion. I sure hope that my family would not be hounded in this way if that happened, or that anyone who happened to come and help perhaps take or buy some of it would be hounded in this way.

It is asking way to much of a grieving family to be responsible for ensuring every single piece of loaned material goes back to whoever loaned it, with the volume there that task is monumental perhaps even impossible if you aren't familiar with our hobby. Not to mention scammers who would say things were loaned that weren't etc.

I agree with you @macuserman .

 

[wthww]

Alright guys, enough is enough.

I'd ask everyone to take a chill pill, and act with humanity and understanding.

Tensions are high for everyone, including the family in this case.

Death leaves a wide wake.

Thanks,

wthww

 

[Cory5412]

All,

This has been incredibly disappointing.

I've been a part of this forum specifically for literally over half my life, more than twenty years, and one of my favorite things about it, the thing that's kept me from quitting the hobby, is by and large we keep our cool and act like the adults we are.

Not only did we manage to lose our typical decades-long cool, but we did it in front of new people from different vintage computing specialties.


This isn't the last time someone in vintage computing will die and have an estate - we should take the lessons we've learned this week with us for the next time this happens.

I may follow up with a few of you directly.

Best,
Cory5412.

 

[Cory5412]

Triple re-reviewing this later today.

 

[Cory5412]

All,

My triple re-review on this remains in progress but I wanted to add that I apologize so incredibly much to Ried and everyone for posting what was meant to be a private conversation with Ried right on out here into the open.

We have "incidents" here on the forum super rarely, and I do want to just generally give a shout out to everyone for in general being super cool and chill.

I'll post something else on this in the coming days once I've had a chance to complete the triple re-review.

Best,
Cory5412.

 

[Cory5412]

Hey All,

We'd like to discuss the recent thread for Tony Diaz's estate. We knew Tony personally, which drives some of how we initially moderated it. Unfortunately for everyone involved, it looks like Tony's estate is enduring what happens when someone dies: many family members are involved, and the right hand isn't aware of what the left is doing.

Our major ask to the community in the thread was to cool it for a minute and remember there's a person on the other side of the keyboard. Sometimes, though, you have to take a spoonful of your own medicine; in this case, we definitely should have. In short: we messed up, and broke with our usual moderation style.

I'd like to sincerely apologize again to ried for my mishandling and lazy wording up front, and for what amounted to a public lashing after the fact, especially with what we know now: ried got caught between the estate and the family, which could happen to any of us in the hobby.

Given the age of the machines we deal with in our hobby, this estate sale is unlikely to be the last sale that isn't 100% above board. It is a good reminder for everyone to consider the provenance of the gear they acquire and, again, to remember that human beings are involved, too, not just the tech.

Thanks again,
Best,
Cory W./Cory5412 and wthww