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My 1.25ghz emac would smoke any of the G3 iMacs. :p
I have a 450mhz slot loader and a 333mhz tray loader and I can't stand using either because of the slowness with OS X. Actually, the 333mhz one seems faster at times than the 450 even with less RAM. No idea why though.
I have used the G4 and intel laptops, and I would still take the Pismo over them. Maybe drop in a CPU upgrade and max the ram, along with a fast hard drive. My Pismo is so nice and comfortable to use, but the new ones feel like cheap crap in comparison. I even like my Wallstreet II laptop...
Try starting up with the shift key held down. That boots it into safe mode. I have had problems like you describe where the monitor doesn't show anything and booting into safe mode let me correct the problem (software in both cases).
If she told you it had a working battery and it holds a charge, even for a few minutes, then she was right. Unless she stated the amount of time it lasted and was inaccurate, then you are SOL.
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